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NumbWhat is this feeling?
I don't understand.
I want to explain
But I don't think I can.
Is it really true?
Am I turning this numb?
It just can't be!
I must feel some!
Why is this happening?
Why can't I feel?
Is this all just a dream
Or is all of this real?
Someone please tell me.
Please help me feel.
I'm so tired of feeling numb.
I just wanna heal.
The pain, the sorrow,
The joy, the tears.
Yes! I want all of them!
Even all the fears!
I'm so wanting,
Longing to feel again.
This curse is so haunting,
It's like a dead end.
So, if I were you,
Be glad you can feel.
Be thankful you're not numb.
At least you are real.
Truth isTruth is i'll never think i'm good enough for you.
I'll always think there's someone out there who'd treat you better
Who wouldn't need fixing or protecting
Someone who wasn't such an emotional roller-coaster
And when you meet that person...
You'll realize what i've always known.
And you'll leave me.
stumbling in the darkness.
a cranium swells like a balloon;
Monstrous thoughts scratching
and scouring for an escape.
A tender cheek lands on a cool surface.
the heavy load is unzipped,
right between the two pastures of hair.
inky black drippings spill out,
staining a virgin blanket of papery snow.
to an unheard rhythm,
the inklings lace
together on a grid of blue.
all jumbled and obscure.
a heart accelerates in a bony cave.
finding and ensnaring wounds like criminals.
tearing them away from their shaded sanctuary;
sadness their only ally.
Brought forth and smeared
on the paper in a heap of red.
from a dismal abyss,
an anguished soul once drenched in
loneliness and misery
has been purged;
exiled from its fleshy cave.
for all the world to see.
To depression, for creating days without endWake up to the realization that you've been awake
for seconds, minutes, hours.
You've been awake in this warm, dark room
and you don't know how long it's been
but now you're conscious
and it starts again--
the pain, strong and steady, in your chest.
You gain consciousness in this too warm morning
and your thoughts whir in endless loops
because it's either that or face the weight in your chest.
Light breaks though the window, soft and unwelcome
but you take it as a reluctant gift--
a new distraction from the feelings awake in your chest.
Awake, but not conscious.
So you think yourself in circles a little while longer
waiting for those quiet pains
(the constant reminder)
to gain consciousness.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More